Author Posts

February 18, 2014 at 6:23 pm

If you want to learn about mindfulness, check out these practical tools:

What is Mindfulness? 

5 Minute Mindful Breathing Exercise

Free Guided Meditations

April 18, 2015 at 6:07 pm

I just started attending Mindfulness and Self-Compasison (MSC) course and love it. It’s taught by Michael Klein, PhD in San Francisco. The course was originally designed, I understand, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer. Research has shown the benefits to practicing mindfulness and self-compassion are remarkably good, and the more you practice it, the more you can benefit. Here is a cool link from Kristin Neff’s website, where you can measure your self-compassion (as well as other variables like mindfulness, isolation, and over-identification).

http://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/

If anyone has questions about this course, please let me know. I think it’s a really helpful approach. For example, it seems like it’s especially good for folks who tend to be harsh on ourselves. I can explain…

From page 14-15 of Neff’s book, “Self-Compassion”: “Our culture does not emphasize self-compassion, quite the opposite. We’re told that no matter how hard we try, our best just isn’t good enough. It’s time for something different…”

And as a counselor in training, I especially like this quote from page 13: “Compassion is not only relevant to those who are blameless victims, but also to those whose suffering stems from failures, personal weakness, or bad decisions…”

This mindset is helpful in my work because it allows me to have more compassion for all people, even those who hurt themselves or have hurt or even killed others.

July 15, 2015 at 2:31 pm

Thanks for sharing this!  I really like Kristin Neff’s research (enough that I actually ran a research study on self-compassion).  She has lots of exercises like this one: http://self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/, where you can practice treating yourself with the same compassion that you would show to a close friend.

July 30, 2015 at 7:51 am

This self-compassion exercise is great and one that I often use with clients in my therapy practice. It’s amazing how much easier it can be to show compassion toward a friend in contrast to oneself.

Curious to know the findings of the research study you ran on self-compassion if you’re willing to briefly share?

October 5, 2015 at 9:33 pm

Sorry that I didn’t get back to your question before now!  Since there’s some research suggesting that people sometimes behave in hostile ways after being rejected, we wanted to see if self-compassion could reduce that tendency.  We didn’t publish the results, but I did see this article by Kristin Neff, though, which looks at self-compassion in relationships: http://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/Neff.Beretvas.pdf

November 16, 2015 at 10:37 am

Roughly continuing on the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Thread, I have recently discovered that Tara Brach, mindfulness teacher, has posted many of her lectures on YouTube. They’re free, helpful, and entertaining too. Here’s just one example of many, “Transforming Two Fears – FOF [fear of failure] and FOMO [fear of missing out]”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3OjDF0wPPo

Other titles include:

“The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Working with Attachment and Addiction”

“Freedom in the midst of difficulty”

“Attend and Befriend – Healing the Fear Body”

“Learning to respond, Not React”

“Hands off the controls”

“Flowering, From Within, of Self-Blessing”

“Trusting Ourselves, Trusting Life”

“Healing Self-Doubt”

And many others. One teaching point that has been particularly helpful for me is that she encourages people to not identify too closely with their own suffering – the fact is that many people suffer from similar problems. Thus, it’s preferable to call suffering “the suffering” rather than “MY suffering.” Anyway, just wanted to share this. Have a great week!

Clark