H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired): A Self-Care Tool

I first came across the acronym H.A.L.T. when I was working as a counselor in chemical dependency treatment centers twenty years ago. H.A.L.T. stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. Each one of these four physical or emotional conditions, if not taken care of, leaves an individual vulnerable for relapse.

Relapse for an alcoholic or addict, of course, means resumption of using alcohol or drugs to manage the discomfort, but since working in the more general mental health field I have seen how even those of us not suffering from chemical dependency have our own forms of relapse. This may show up as relapse into other forms of addictions (excessive gambling, eating, shopping, TV watching, being on the computer, or excessive or inappropriate sexual activity — to name just a few). Relapse may also show up as falling back into old beliefs about ourselves that result in emotional states such as shame or imagined guilt.

I have found H.A.L.T. helpful for anyone, including myself, because there is no getting away from sometimes feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Following I will go through each of the four conditions in more detail in order for you to get the most out of this self-care tool.

Hunger, of course, describes the most obvious physical condition of lack of food. We all know how important it is to have regular nutritional meals — preferably small in size and frequent in number. So I will not belabor this point here. But hunger can also point toward emotional needs: hunger for attention, for comfort, for understanding, or for companionship. It is very important that we have others in our lives who can give us their loving care. In 12-Step recovery circles these others are available in the “fellowships” of particular meetings. For other people these caring beings may be present in their spiritual communities, in their circle of friends, or other groups they attend. Just like we need grocery stores to take care of physical hunger, we need the community of like-minded people to fill our emotional needs. Therefore, the solution to emotional hunger is community.

The next condition, anger, is a little bit more complex and the solution perhaps a bit more challenging for some people. Here is the good news: there is nothing wrong with the feeling of anger! But here is the bad news: most of us have never learned how to express anger constructively. The way we express anger often takes hugely destructive forms. We either turn anger against ourselves or against others. Anger can range from criticizing and belittling to name-calling and physical violence. Anger can also be like a repeated tape loop; in that case it’s called resentment.

Let’s deal with the latter condition first. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous suggests that a person with resentment toward another pray for the other, that is, imagine all the good in life that we would like to have for ourselves to be bestowed upon the other person. You don’t have to call it prayer; choose a word that works for you. My experience has been that anybody who subjects themselves to this discipline will eventually reap the benefit of feeling free from the incessant thoughts about the individual involved, and an unforeseen resolution to the conflict usually emerges.

Now let’s look at the other forms of destructive anger mentioned above. First of all, you need a time out during which to breathe and be in control over the emotional charge that anger evokes. Some people actually need to do some physical activity such as walking, running, stomping or screaming (if you have privacy) to help them discharge the tension running through the body.

The next step is to look for the underlying cause of your anger. Anger is always about some form of perceived helplessness or powerlessness. Usually it can be remedied by identifying a request that needs to be made. When we make a request, we need to be willing to negotiate an outcome that works for both parties involved. Sometimes, however, the relationship dynamic that provoked the anger is so destructive that we need to distance ourselves for a while or even for good.

If you have difficulty with guiding yourself toward a time out, self-reflection, and moving toward a constructive request you may need professional help. Sometimes anger seems to run our very being and, in that case, it is usually connected to childhood trauma.

Next in the H.A.L.T. acronym is Lonely, which refers to isolating oneself. It is similar to Hunger in that the solution is the same, namely community. However, loneliness points to the difficulty of reaching out. This can have several causes, one being that isolation was a childhood survival tool, the other being emotional or clinical depression. If loneliness is either a constant or a frequent companion of yours and you don’t seem to be able to come out of it on your own, again you may need professional help to look at the underlying causes.

The last of the H.A.L.T. acronym conditions is Tired. We all have a tendency to ignore tiredness at times. Several years ago I saw a video of an experiment in which volunteers were subjected to either alcohol intake or sleep deprivation. The upshot is that physical tiredness may be the cause of as many traffic accidents as alcohol consumption. It is a serious condition that endangers our wellbeing as well as that of others. The solution is of course napping or sleeping. If you have prolonged difficulty sleeping at night see your health care provider!

The other form of tiredness comes from taking on too much, being overloaded and overwhelmed — an almost universal condition in the busy lives we all lead. The only solutions I am aware of is to cut down where you can, take short breathing breaks, step in front of your door and smell the fresh air (if available), and take vacations (frequent short ones or a good long one — yes we can learn from the Europeans!).

Now you know H.A.L.T, an easily portable and very practical tool for everyday living. I give thanks to the people in Alcoholics Anonymous, where I think this acronym initially emerged, for using their experience to benefit us all.

About this ContributorGudrun Zomerland, MFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist with offices in Santa Rosa and Petaluma, CA.  She writes: “I grew up in post-war Germany and moved to the US in my mid-twenties. The exposure to two cultures has given me an appreciation for diversity, its riches and challenges. Because I was affected by the immense destructiveness of war just prior to my birth, I have a particular sensitivity to personal as well as historical trauma and the deep fear, pain, rage and/or guilt some of us carry inside. I find personal self-exploration, interpersonal discovery, artistic expression, a spiritual belief, and humor of utmost importance in people’s achievement of mental health. I see inner well-being as a life-long task.”  

To learn more about her work, please visit her websitehttp://www.chinnstreetcounseling.com/zomerland/index.shtml

  1. Very interesting article. I have found that AA supplies a wide range of publications that can be helpful to almost anyone seeking help. They mostly stick to the same content, but ultimately the guidance they offer can be accessed by anyone seeking guidance. For me it came in the form of a small book of daily meditations and quotes for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Neither of my parents were alcoholics but the wisdom contained in the book was so powerful that I carried it with me for at least a year and read it regularly. As someone who suffered from debilitating anxiety and panic, the language spoken in the book really reached me. Reading this post about H.A.L.T. has reminded me how much help I needed deciphering daily life, how confused and lost I was in my early 20’s and how much comfort I got from these insightful little gems of wisdom. What it comes down to, for me, is that as humans we haven’t got a manual. We aren’t given a How To guide at birth and many of us suffer from severe lack of understanding of ourselves, our motivations and the underlying causes of our own behaviors. Without knowing how to navigate those terrains, it can be nearly impossible to have successful relationships, which, as mentioned in the article, can be the foundation of our community and the things that feed our souls.
    Anything that acts as a dictionary or guide to help explain me to myself is something I always sought out. As someone who has never been an addict or attended a meeting, I have a huge debt of gratitude to all those people who have built that community and made it a safe place to learn about the human condition.

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Thank you for visiting HealthyPsych! 

If you find our site helpful, we invite you to like our Facebook page to get our latest updates.

Take good care in the meantime.

Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Welcome! By using HealthyPsych.com, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Disclaimer: The information and other content provided on this site, or in any linked materials, is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice.  Please consult directly with your medical provider on your specific needs. Your use of this site to locate a Psych Professional or to engage with members of the social network is voluntary and at your own risk.

Data Privacy: this site uses cookies, Google Ads and Google Analytics.  Please see the ‘Do Not Sell My Personal Information’ link at the bottom left of the page to ‘opt-out’ of personalized Google Ads.  You can also opt-out of Google targeted advertising by going here: https://adssettings.google.com/.  Go to https://tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout to opt-out of data collected by Google Analytics.  Go to https://us.norton.com/blog/how-to/how-to-clear-cookies to learn how to clear cookies from your browser.

Please read our full Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.  If you have any questions, please message us here: Contact Us.